My Testimony on Adversity

My friend asked me to write my testimony about adversity for a class that she was teaching at church. Here is what I sent.......

A long time ago I decided not to ask the Lord, “Why me?” when it came to all the trials that life has thrown at me. I have had sick kids, cancer, miscarriages, a failed marriage, loss of a home, the list could go on and on, but I have never asked Him, “Why? Lord?” I maintain that through trials I want to grow closer to the Lord, not be angry with Hm.

During my divorce, I remember thinking about so many I have heard stories of where they turned away from the Gospel and became bitter at life, at The Lord, at everything. I did NOT want that to be me. I turned my divorce into an experience very intimate with God. I utilized the atonement for my suffering-I cried to the Lord to help me get through it; to help me get up in the morning and be a good mom; to just survive. I read my scriptures with new zeal and determination. I attended the temple like never before, and you know what happened? I healed! I became well, both mentally and physically. My testimony of the atonement became strong. I know now that the atonement is not only for our sins, but for our pains. The atonement is for our loneliness, our despair, our feelings of not being able to handle our trials. I guess you could say I put the Lord to the test; I wanted to know for myself that the atonement is real. And I know it is!

Throughout all my trials I have felt the Lord so near. I know He knows ME! I know He knows each one of us. I have lived through the trials I have lived because they were designed exactly for me. I cannot control other’s free agency, but I can certainly control myself and my reaction. I decided long ago that a happy attitude will make my trials endurable. I am not perfect. There are days I cry. There are days I feel like I can’t endure anymore, but then I pick myself up, dust myself off, leave my pity party and go to work. I serve the Lord the best I can, and He makes up the difference.

He loves us so much. He allows us to have trials to grow closer to Him, and to be able to serve Him. I can’t tell you how many times I have been able to help other endure their trials because I have lived through something. That is how the Gospel works. We learn, and then we serve with all our hearts, and the Lord pours out His blessings. I have experienced great trials in my life, but I love the Lord so much, and I am so thankful I have lived through what I have, because in every trial I have been able to find the silver lining, and my relationship with God is strong, and I would never change that for any trial I have experienced.